My Name is JoelaMom Life Archives ⋆ My Name is Joela

My Home Birth

Wow – its been over 6 months since the birth of Elijah and I still haven’t written my birth story! Crazy! Having 2 kids is no joke. It’s more work than anyone can imagine but it’s worth every minute of chaos. I finally got like 10 minutes in my life to sit down and write this so here goes….

First I’d like to say that I am SOOOO happy I got my home and water birth, I always wanted. I wanted it with Ezra and due to certain circumstances I was not able to. ( you can find Ezra’s birth story here on my blog).

This pregnancy was seriously such a drag, every single day. To have a safe home birth the midwives want you to be at least 37 weeks so as soon as I hit that mark, everyday when I woke up in the middle of the night, I wondered, is this it? Is this it?…..nope. Not until 39 weeks and 1 day ( one day later than my last pregnancy) did Elijah decide to make his debut.

Labor

I woke up at 3:45am for my usual bathroom run and when I opened my eyes I for sure said to myself, this is really it. It’s happening today I just know. Sure enough, the moment a stood up, it was a gush of water! Like a crazy gush, not like the tinkling down the leg like I had the first time, it was like spraying out. So I made it to the bathroom, called my midwife, I had no contractions yet, she told me to try to go back to sleep and rest because I was going to need it. I tried to go back to bed and relax but then contractions started 15 minutes later, 6 minutes apart and I was trembling so I decided to call her back, meanwhile I woke up my husband as my toddler continued to sleep in our bed and he got up and started to get the tub ready. When I called her back and told her I couldn’t rest because my contractions started, she told me to go and eat some breakfast before it was too late. I went down to make breakfast and then the contractions got a little stronger. It had only been 15 minutes since I last spoke to the midwife so I called her back and told her my contractions were still 6 minutes apart but they were starting to hurt and she said I still sounded very chatty so to keep her posted. I reminded her my first birth was only 6 hours and that she shouldn’t wait too long to leave. For some reason when I was on the phone with her my contractions subsided for like a good 10 minutes and then as soon as I got off the phone, they came back instantly.

Since I still had 6 minutes in-between I figured this would be a good time to wake up my mother in law and move my toddler into the furthest guest room so he can continue sleeping with her. I was worried he’d wake up and be confused since he had never woken up next to anyone besides me or my husband before but it’s something that I couldn’t worry about anymore. The contractions were still 6 min apart and getting very intense. I could not find a good position to help me relax. Nothing I was taught in my birth classes was helping me at all. The only thing I could think of was sitting on the toilet which naturally relaxes you, so that’s what I did.

At this point I have really no concept of time but I believe it was around 5:30am when things started to get really crazy and I just couldn’t handle the pain anymore. The contractions were about 4 minutes apart now and I sat on the toilet for a good while before I felt like pushing, I already had started to push on the toilet. My midwife was on the way and she called my husband and told him to get me off the toilet even if he had to drag me because otherwise that’s where the baby would be coming out. So in- between I ran onto my bed, it was so difficult because the baby was so low already. I ended up laying in bed side ways pushing but trying to hold the baby in at the same time. Honestly, if I had gone in the tub at that point, I think he would have come out but the midwife doesn’t want you to get into the tub with out her since it speeds up the process and she obviously wanted to be there and so did I. The midwife stayed with me on speaker the rest of the time until she arrived. She ran up into my bedroom and told me he was crowning so now I had to make it over to the tub.

Delivery

As soon as I got inside the tub it was like someone gave me a drug. They say that water birth is really a great way to manage pain and let me tell you, it felt amazing. It was like my whole entire body relaxed. I was in there for a good 10 minutes and then pushed the baby right out. I had so much more control over my breathing which allowed me to control the pushing, I was trying really not to tear. It was AMAZING, I did it. I really had this baby in the water at home like I have always wanted.

The best part of being home is no hospital chaos. I was in MY bed and I could just relax and sleep and enjoy the baby and nurse. The midwives stay and help clean up and do all their checks and they come back the next day to check on you as well.

My water baby – Elijah Dos Santos Membreno born at 6:40am at 8lbs exactly and 21 inches long.

Recovery

My recovery was fine, a little more difficult than the first, only because my hips really got messed up this time around so I was very weak until I went to the chiropractor a few times to get adjusted and that really helped. I’m still dealing with a little hip pain here and there even now at 6 months PP but I would do it all over again if I had to. Although this time my labor would probably. be like an hour lol so there would be no diddle daddling! 🙂

Also – I was so worried about my oldest waking up from all the noise and he and my mother in law slept right through everything! Lol! they woke up at 7:30am and asked how I was holding up and My husband said I had the baby at 6:45am! They had no clue! It really worked out great.

I know people probably think I’m crazy but birth is a natural thing. God made us able to do this naturally without drugs or intervention. We CAN do it. It’s a miracle.

Thanks all for stopping by! Hopefully I can start posting more again soon. Life has been so crazy these days!

Welcome Elijah!

Elijah Dos Santos Membreno

Born on October 21, 2017 at 6:50am

Weighing in at 8lbs and 21 inches long

He was born in the comfort of our own home in the water. I am so grateful for this! My birth story will be up in the next couple of weeks. I am just waiting on our photos. 🙂

For now here are some awesome family pictures we took this past weekend, by my cousin Kailyn! <3 Thank you Kay! <3

Maternity Shoot

Hi everyone! Hope you are all having a great day! I’m happy to finally share my maternity shoot with you! I wish I could have shared them before the baby came but unfortunately, I was having some issues with my photographer.

I did not have the best overall experience with this photographer. I think my vision was somewhat met, but it did not exceed my expectations at all and the delivery was incomplete. I’m happy to at least have some decent photos, but I have learned my lesson.

On that note, I will share some tips on how to choose a maternity photographer.

Tip #1 – Professionalism. Make sure they are professional.

Tip#2 – Make sure they are specifically a maternity photographer. Although a photographer can be good, maternity and babies are a whole other ball game. Posing, positioning, angles are all extremely important because you have a huge belly and you have also gained weight and the point is you want to look and feel good about yourself too.

Tip#3 – Payment. Make sure you are allowed flexibility in payment and set the ground rules from the beginning. You make final payment after photos are received.

Tip#4 – Timing. Maternity pictures shouldn’t take more than 2 weeks to complete.

Tip#5 – Communication. If communications starts to fail and the person is unresponsive to messages then its a already a bad sign.

Tip#6 – Editing. A photographer should know how to edit period. There are circumstances in all types of photography that is needed. For example, tan lines, skin color matching, maybe there’s an object that needs to be removed….etc.

Needless to say I failed at all of the above because I decided to step out of my comfort zone. Oh well! These things happen and it’s a learning experience. I hope you like my pictures that I tried to edit myself. lol…

–Hair is by the amazing Rosi Manto at Xchanges Hair Salon in Kenilworth, NJ

– Makeup is by the one and only Sam Alter

– Photography -I’m choosing not to disclose the photographer for her best interest.

The Homestretch!

Talk about homestretch, this is no joke. I am 37 weeks and 2 days pregnant and I am so over it. As a matter of fact, I have been over it since I was like 5 months pregnant. Everyone for some reason thinks the second pregnancy is easier because you’ve been through it already but it’s quite the opposite, at least for me it is. I mean your body is all stretched out already but everything hurts more. Your back hurts more, the stretching and pulling of your muscles, not to mention if it’s your second you also have a toddler most likely running around your house.

Remember all the naps you used to take with your first pregnancy? Well that doesn’t happen the second time, plus you’re chasing your toddler all over the place, picking up toys, bending over constantly, changing diapers, putting on shoes and pants, picking up the binky 50xs a day! It never ends. EVER. And now the baby is almost here and you’re already a tired mom and that tired is about to get REAL tired. At least I am more mentally prepared for a newborn than I was for the first. The first time you think its going to be easy right? I mean how hard can it be? And then your sleep deprived for weeks and months with a colic baby, talk about wake up call! This time I know better.

Goodbye sleep. It was nice having you back for a little. I already feel you dwindling away with my pregnancy insomnia so I am prepared to have you leave for another year. Hope you come back sooner than later.

Love you, Tired Mom.

Well, on that note I can’t wait to have my home birth! Super excited actually! 🙂 I haven’t been that great about keeping you all up to date one the whole pregnancy this time since mom life equals busy life. But I’ll keep you all posted. And of course I’ll share my birth story later on.

Meanwhile, we took some cool pictures in a milk bath, thanks to my wonderful husband <3 hope you like them! Xoxo!

Pregnant & Nursing

Hi! Many of you know I planned on breastfeeding until he weaned himself. Unfortunately, it had to end officially a couple of months ago. 🙁 I am actually quite sad about this. I know it’s normal when you’re pregnant to dry up, but I was really hoping to pull through.

It all started when I got pregnant. After about 8 weeks, I would get so much pain in my nipples that I dreaded nursing. I would usually cut him short because I couldn’t handle the pain. Anyone who has been pregnant knows that due to hormones, your breasts become very tender and painful. It’s like puberty all over again– you can’t even lay on them. So imagine a baby sucking on them in this state. OUCH! Well, it was ouch. So I had to start night weaning because I couldn’t handle it even more so at night when I was half asleep, it would just make me curl out of my skin. It was a rough two weeks of night weaning including lots of crying and whining. I felt so bad but I tried to cuddle him and be patient. After about two weeks though, he got the point and didn’t ask of it anymore. We were now down to only nursing before bed and naps. But still, it hurt like B!#$%! I sucked it up though because I didn’t want to stop. Finally around 18-20 weeks, not quite sure when exactly, I realized there was nothing even coming out anymore. 🙁 He would just nurse for five or so minutes out of comfort and move on. Now he doesn’t even ask really anymore. Once in a while, he tries to lift up my shirt to ask for some but I tell him there is no more “milkies” so he moves on.

It’s kind of sad though. I don’t know, maybe its because I’m pregnant and all my emotions are all over the place. I actually really did not want to tandem nurse anyway so I should be happy. I guess a part of me just misses it. Well, not for long because Elijah will be here before we know it and a whole new nursing journey will begin for us. 🙂 I am happy to say I nursed Ezra for 21 months. I remember when my goal was just 6 months and it was such a breeze after that so I kept going.

I would really like to encourage moms to do it if they can. It’s not easy for everyone just like pregnancy. Every BODY is different. For some it hurts more than others, some can’t handle the stress of pumping at work and making it work around their schedule, so you lose your supply. It’s not easy, especially in the world we live in today with so many working moms, but it is natural. The human body is made to do this. We can do this if we really want to. I know some people have supply issues but a great IBCLC can determine what is causing your supply issue and you can actually fix it. Sometimes it is not even you! It could be the baby or the latch itself. It could even be a lip or tongue tie! There are so many things that can impact it. Support is your number one priority. If you don’t have support, you are less likely to succeed. My husband was supportive, my Midwives were encouraging, and I had so much help around me, I could reach out to someone for help always. There are local support groups in almost every town or nearby, your hospital, La Leche League…..etc. If you need help finding someone in your area, reach out! I will be glad to help a fellow mama.

I remember right before Ezra was two months old, I was miserable with the whole breastfeeding thing. It was uncomfortable, painful and it was hours and hours of dedication between growth spurts and crankiness and crying and not sleeping. It would have been so easy to just quit. Remember, one thing I’ve learned being a first time mom, everything is temporary. It really is. It never lasts, the good, the bad , the ugly. It will eventually change again and again and again. The feeding cycles, the sleeping cycles, the tantrums, it all goes away and may come back in a different form later. Remembering that is what gets me through. He is not little forever. He will not always want to be with me 24/7 , he will not always eat healthy, he will not always throw an embarrassing tantrum when I’m trying to get him in the car. He will not always wake up 8 times a night. He will eventually grow to be a big boy, who will be independent and make his own choices and not always ask mom and dad for help. It’s really sad when you think about how quickly they grow. This is why I cherish every single moment even the hard times because you will miss them later. You will even laugh at them later. 🙂

Sorry I just went a little off track there, but I was in the moment. Lol! Our babies grow so fast! In the blink of an eye, they will be off to college. Hug them, love them, and cherish them always.

Gender Reveal for Baby #2 – He or She? What will it be?

Drum rollll……….

WAIT, let me tell you something first! I just wanted to say, with Ezra I was convinced it was a girl because people kept telling me that and it sort of brainwashed me! So when I found out I was having a boy, I was in complete shock! It took me like 3 weeks to accept. it. I was in total denial, I guess because I just never thought I would have a boy. I mean what would I do with a boy? People who know me, know I’m a girly girl so it was a total shocker. Fast forward to now, my sweet boy is 21 months and he is the most amazing sweet little man, I adore having a boy!! It’s the best! The bond between mother and son is unbreakable.

So this time, I didn’t care if it was another boy or a girl because I love having a boy so it wouldn’t matter. Although, this pregnancy has been so different. In some ways it’s been easier but in other ways harder. I am also carrying differently so I for sure thought, ok it’s going to be a girl this time.

Well? Nope! haha! IT’S A BOY!

I am so happy Ezra is going to have a little brother. They will be 2 years a part and best friends. <3 This is truly amazing. I am so blessed to have a house full of boys. I am their queen and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thank you Lord for this amazing blessing!

Hope you enjoy these great shots we took! <3

It Gets Easier!

Lies! It gets easier they say. I think almost every single person said that to me when Ezra was born. Wait until he’s 6 months. It will be so much easier. Other would say, wait until he’s 9 months, it so much better. I would be sitting at a restaurant or at the mall and randomly people would tell me that. At first I was excited and started the count down to 6 months and then 9 months and then 1 year. I soon realized it was all lies!

Let me tell you something. It does not get easier. It’s different and there are different challenges but it’s not easier at all. Certain aspects are easier, like once your child learns to sit up and entertain themselves with a toy, it’s a nice distraction, but then they learn to crawl and walk and here we go again, running after them like a maniac. So there are pros and there are cons to every month and age I am sure. Just please don’t say it gets easier. They still wake up in the middle of the night, they still cry when they’re upset, when they’re sick, forget it! We’re a nervous wreck! Oh and teething, that Sh@*% never ends until they’re like 3 so what’s easy about that?

Being a mom is nonstop work, from day to night, from age 0 to age 100. It never ends and that’s not a bad thing. We lose sleep, sometimes we even lose ourselves, some of us lose relationships, a lot of things change for moms. Nothing is easy, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t wonderful! Every single headache, tear, yell, disappointment, failure is always filled with so much love. Unconditional love that surpasses every difficult time. Am I right? Who agrees? I’m sure there are moms who make it look easy, but we all know the truth. ( wink, wink)

Let’s keep it real! #realtalk

Hope everyone enjoyed this past Easter weekend! Here are some photos from ours.

Baby Announcement Number 2

Hi everyone! Well we have some new and exciting news! Ezra’s going to be a big brother!!! YAY!!

I am SO glad the secret is out because quite honestly, i cannot hide it anymore. LITERALLY! LOL….I’m busting out of my legging and pretty much all my clothes. Thank goodness I own a slew of maternity clothes because these maternity jeans are coming in very handy right now. It’s amazing how quickly you show with your second pregnancy. I guess i’m all stretched out and ready to go. Lol!

On a not so exciting note, nausea has been kicking my butt and these food cravings and aversions are out of control. Iced coffee and donuts anyone? That seems to be my go to meal these days. Don’t worry, I’m only drinking one cup of coffee per day though. Donuts on the other hand, by the handful. I already feel so different from the last time. I was extremely nauseous with Ezra until about 13-14 weeks, non stop everyday, that car sick feeling that never went away but I never puked. This time, I puked one night, all night long. I was horribly nauseous for like 4 days straight and now it just comes and goes as it pleases so that’s not bad. Except when you ask me to cook or you warm up your lunch at work or you ask me to think about what I want to order out. That my friend, will send me running out the door. Yuughhh! Actually let me stop talking about this because I’m starting to feel queasy.

I’ll keep you posted like last time, we are using The Midwives of NJ again, shooting for a home birth AGAIN, but we will see how that goes based on if I get gestational diabetes again or not. This time at least, I am mentally prepared. See you guys soon! 🙂

Ezra’s First Birthday – Cake Smash

Wow, the day is finally here. My baby is one. It’s true what they tell you, “the days are long but the years are short”. I’m so sad and so happy at the same time. He is growing to be such a smart spunky little dude. He has such a sweet personality. It’s amazing to see his development, every single day of his life. I notice the smallest things, like the way he waved today looks a little different from the way he waved 2 days ago. Also, things like, he took one extra step today to get to the other side of the couch. They sound so silly and meaningless but they’re not, it’s important to notice these things. I am taking advantage of all the attention I can give him because I know one day my attention will be shared with a sibling and things will be different.

Being one is fun! I’m really excited to start doing more specialized activities with him, now that he is pretty much a toddler and he can understand a bit better. I can’t wait to see where this year will take us, it should be a wild ride! Hopefully he can learn to sleep longer more consistently through the night. 🙂

Well, here are Ezra’s cake smash photos! I hope you enjoy them as much as we enjoyed putting them together. It was a family affair I might add. My teenage cousin is great with the camera so she took the pictures, while I did the staging. my sister helped with some of the props as well and my friend Linda, who does some AMAZING work! Then of course my hubby and my other cousin helped with getting Ezra’s attention on the camera and keeping the dogs out of the pictures, and last but not least my friend and neighbor Jen helped a few touch up on the pics themselves!! Good times lol! Thank you to all you took part in making this a great shoot for Ezra and helped us create some fun memories!!

PS: Ezra’s cake was made at a Natural health good store near by called Grassroots, who does organic non- gmo cakes for all occasions. I buy all my supplements from there.

Happy Birthday Ezra, momma and dada and Peanut love you!!! <3 To many more!

Ezra wild one 7

#Momlife is the #Bestlife

I can’t believe it has been over 11 month since I’ve had my little one, who by all means is not so little anymore (sad face). It’s so overwhelming to think about all I have gone through this year or I should say in almost one year with my baby. There were so many hard times and amazing times and there still are. I will say I have NO IDEA how single moms do it. It is a major wake up call. I have a whole new outlook on single moms, people with more than two kids, especially so close in age. You ROCK! YOU my friend are a super hero! It is not easy.

I love kids, I always have and I always have been great with kids in general but yes when it’s your kid and they are with you 24/7 (except when I’m working) it is no joke. The sleeping thing, ha! Forget it! I’m not sure when I will ever get sleep again, I have pretty much given up. We have good nights and not so good nights and I will take that but when my baby is not feeling so good and we get a couple nights in a row of not sleeping, I’m pretty much useless. I don’t function properly and I have just learned to accept that. It’s temporary, I remind myself. And it is temporary. All these things are for such a short period of time when you think about it. Your baby will grow up and then they will act like they don’t need you anymore, more independent, no more hugs, no more calling mama for everything and that’s actually sad. 🙁 It makes me sad to think about that so I hug him and kiss him all the time, he actually does get annoyed sometimes and whines but I don’t care, I have to take advantage! lol I encourage all moms to take advantage! Just think about it when the going gets tough, it helps you get through those harder moments.

Anyways, here I am though almost 12 months later, I still have those last 10lbs hanging on for dear life. I don’t get it. They said that breastfeeding helps you lose weight but I can’t seem to shake it off. I have no time to work out and if I do have a moment I am tired so I don’t wanna. I eat pretty healthy but I like cake and ice cream. What can I say? At least I was able to button my pre-pregnancy “fat” jeans because I was already heavier when I got preggo. But lets not get carried away, I said I was able to button them, that doesn’t mean they looked good or were comfortable. I guess I will get there some day. I know I will. I don’t care too much, although I should, but I don’t because I want to have another baby rather sooner than later so what’s the point?

By the way, who knew how hard it would be to keep up with this blog! GEEEEZ! I mean I thought it would be easy to just sit down and write. My creative juices are starting to flow a little better these days though so maybe I can do better this time. I hope you all stick around. I feel like this is a lot like a diary for me, to look back on, and I like that I get to you share it with you.

Well stay tuned because I will be doing Ezra’s cake smash photoshoot later this month and then of course the big first birthday planning has begun!! See you soon!

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