Hi! Many of you know I planned on breastfeeding until he weaned himself. Unfortunately, it had to end officially a couple of months ago. 🙁 I am actually quite sad about this. I know it’s normal when you’re pregnant to dry up, but I was really hoping to pull through.

It all started when I got pregnant. After about 8 weeks, I would get so much pain in my nipples that I dreaded nursing. I would usually cut him short because I couldn’t handle the pain. Anyone who has been pregnant knows that due to hormones, your breasts become very tender and painful. It’s like puberty all over again– you can’t even lay on them. So imagine a baby sucking on them in this state. OUCH! Well, it was ouch. So I had to start night weaning because I couldn’t handle it even more so at night when I was half asleep, it would just make me curl out of my skin. It was a rough two weeks of night weaning including lots of crying and whining. I felt so bad but I tried to cuddle him and be patient. After about two weeks though, he got the point and didn’t ask of it anymore. We were now down to only nursing before bed and naps. But still, it hurt like B!#$%! I sucked it up though because I didn’t want to stop. Finally around 18-20 weeks, not quite sure when exactly, I realized there was nothing even coming out anymore. 🙁 He would just nurse for five or so minutes out of comfort and move on. Now he doesn’t even ask really anymore. Once in a while, he tries to lift up my shirt to ask for some but I tell him there is no more “milkies” so he moves on.

It’s kind of sad though. I don’t know, maybe its because I’m pregnant and all my emotions are all over the place. I actually really did not want to tandem nurse anyway so I should be happy. I guess a part of me just misses it. Well, not for long because Elijah will be here before we know it and a whole new nursing journey will begin for us. 🙂 I am happy to say I nursed Ezra for 21 months. I remember when my goal was just 6 months and it was such a breeze after that so I kept going.

I would really like to encourage moms to do it if they can. It’s not easy for everyone just like pregnancy. Every BODY is different. For some it hurts more than others, some can’t handle the stress of pumping at work and making it work around their schedule, so you lose your supply. It’s not easy, especially in the world we live in today with so many working moms, but it is natural. The human body is made to do this. We can do this if we really want to. I know some people have supply issues but a great IBCLC can determine what is causing your supply issue and you can actually fix it. Sometimes it is not even you! It could be the baby or the latch itself. It could even be a lip or tongue tie! There are so many things that can impact it. Support is your number one priority. If you don’t have support, you are less likely to succeed. My husband was supportive, my Midwives were encouraging, and I had so much help around me, I could reach out to someone for help always. There are local support groups in almost every town or nearby, your hospital,  La Leche League…..etc. If you need help finding someone in your area, reach out! I will be glad to help a fellow mama.

I remember right before Ezra was two months old, I was miserable with the whole breastfeeding thing. It was uncomfortable, painful and it was hours and hours of dedication between growth spurts and crankiness and crying and not sleeping. It would have been so easy to just quit. Remember, one thing I’ve learned being a first time mom, everything is temporary. It really is. It never lasts, the good, the bad , the ugly. It will eventually change again and again and again. The feeding cycles, the sleeping cycles, the tantrums, it all goes away and may come back in a different form later. Remembering that is what gets me through. He is not little forever. He will not always want to be with me 24/7 , he will not always eat healthy, he will not always throw an embarrassing tantrum when I’m trying to get him in the car. He will not always wake up 8 times a night. He will eventually grow to be a big boy, who will be independent and make his own choices and not always ask mom and dad for help. It’s really sad when you think about how quickly they grow. This is why I cherish every single moment even the hard times because you will miss them later. You will even laugh at them later. 🙂

Sorry I just went a little off track there, but I was in the moment. Lol! Our babies grow so fast! In the blink of an eye, they will be off to college. Hug them, love them, and cherish them always.